


Aiming the Gun

by pioneering



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Grant Ward is not a good person, Introspection, tbh I'm not sure exactly what I'd describe this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3117272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pioneering/pseuds/pioneering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Grant Ward is an obsessive and thinks he's the good guy.</p>
<p>(Spoiler alert: he's not)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aiming the Gun

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, everyone, let's make something clear: I do not like Grant Ward. (Understatement of the century). Keep that in mind when you read this.

Grant Ward winced as he shifted into a more comfortable position, trying not to tear the stitches Agent 33 had sewn into his side.

Skye had shot him, and it was a wake up call.  It showed exactly what she thought of their relationship.

_“Never turn your back on the enemy.”_

He had never thought of her as the enemy.  Until now that is.  But she wasn’t the enemy, exactly.  No, Skye would free him.  Skye would see, she had to see.  She didn’t understand that he was doing what was best for her when he took her to her father.  He was giving her what she wanted, all she ever wanted—a family.

She shot him and left, and probably thought him dead. 

Luckily for him, he was very much alive.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward wasn’t used to being in charge of his own life.  He’d be controlled for so long, for a while he decided he preferred it that way.  He knew what his skills were, and this way if he wasn’t technically the one aiming the gun, he could feel less responsible about the destruction he was causing.

Too late now.  Garrett was gone, Ward was on his own, and for a while he floundered, desperate for someone to give him the guidance he needed to find a new target, a new goal for his life.  He didn't know how to be by himself, on his own.  Now, he could feel himself embracing the part of himself that he was so afraid of.  For so long he thought people would think of him as a monster.  Now, he knew they would.  But he didn’t care what people thought, he only cared about what Skye thought.

And at the moment Skye thought he was a monster.  He knew that.  He didn’t realize until now that Skye thought of him as the enemy.

That would have to change.  He had opened up to this girl, and awakened something inside himself.  He had to have her.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward never felt more powerful than when he lit his whole family on fire.  He could justify it to others by calling it “letting go of the past,” of the abuse he’d endured, but it was clearly vengeance.  And it should have scared him, that he took so much pleasure in causing pain.  But he embraced his inner monster, now, and it made him stronger.

He walked away from the burning house, satisfaction in his veins and core, and that was the real moment.  The real moment he realized that he didn't need anyone else to guide his life's purpose for him.  Sure, he was making his own decisions ever since he freed himself.  But this was his "aha" moment—the moment he decided that, yes, he could ally himself with others so long as they served their purpose, but his goal from now on will be his own.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward never would have called himself obsessive.  He thought Garrett was insane when he fell off the crazy train and started carving random shit into every available surface.  But his feelings towards Skye had become obsessive, and he realized by now that he didn’t care.  Maybe that was the true sign of the obsessive—being so far off the deep end that they didn’t even realize they were drowning.

It didn’t matter.  He would have Skye, he had to.  She would be his saving grace.  She would make him everything he wanted to be.  She had to.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward abandoned Agent 33 the minute he was back up on his feet.  She was strong, yes, but she was becoming emotional and attached, and he didn’t need any of those connections in his life unless it was with Skye.

He left the body somewhere obvious, making sure it was on the news.  That way he’d be sure Coulson’s team would hear about it, and Skye would see that he was protecting them.  He wasn’t a Nazi, never had been.  He just aligned himself with the people that would help him make it to the next day.

Surely the team would be grateful that he had removed a threat for them.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward never expected to miss the glass prison he was locked in, for who knows how many days.

(He did know—he had kept tally in his mind, knew the time even though they never let him see the light of day.  It was one of his many gifts.)

But he did, because at least in prison he could see Skye.  It was the age old question, the Knight’s Tale: would you rather be locked away in a prison, able to see the love of your life everyday but not be able to do anything about it, or be a free man but never see the girl again?

(He knew the answer, knew that he would rather be trapped in a fish bowl and stare at Skye for the rest of his life and try and prove to her that she was meant to be with him, that he could redeem himself, than never see her again.)

\---  
\---

Grant Ward looked at the bodies piled around him.  It was a literal and figurative description of his life.

The four people he just killed had done nothing wrong.  In the moral sense.  In the strategic sense, they had done everything wrong, found him out, discovered he was on the Wanted List, were ready to call him in for a nice monetary reward.  Never mind if they thought he was SHIELD or HYDRA.  It didn’t matter.

It was a family, actually.  A mother, a father, and twins.  They were probably thirteen, maybe, but the daughter had spotted him.  To be fair, his disguise wasn’t the best, his baseball cap may not have been pulled far enough down his face, but he needed to go buy food, and it wasn’t his fault he dropped a couple things.

He was a decent person, he wouldn’t just leave it all on the ground.

Anyway, the girl pointed him out to the boy, who told the mother, who told the father, who prepared to call the police.  And while Ward could easily manage the police, he really didn’t want to draw that kind of attention to himself.

So he followed them out to the car, and it was over in seconds. 

He wished he could say he was remorseful.

And when he drove off in their car, he thought about every life he’d ended, under Garrett’s orders, under Coulson’s, under HYDRA’s.  And suddenly, he was glad he was aiming the gun on top of pulling the trigger.  He had more control this way.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward’s latest encounter with Skye left him reeling.  He knew May had been training her, but he had no idea how strong a fighter she’d become.  It probably didn’t help that he was still pulling punches, trying to get her to see that she was wrong, she meant everything to him.  Imagine his surprise when she had him on the ground.

It was fine.  He hoped she’d come talk to him again when he was in prison.

\---  
\---

Grant Ward was not happy that Skye didn’t come back down to the glass box.  Even though those were the only words he used, to ask for Skye.  Bobbi Morse asked him questions, attempted interrogation, that Lance Hunter guy tried as well.  So did Coulson.  He caught Fitz peeking in the door once, and he knew that Jemma, and most likely Skye, was watching his video feed.

He didn’t understand why Skye wouldn’t come back.  She knew she was the only one he would talk to.  Would she really be willing to give up all the information he could provide because she was holding a petty grudge?

\---  
\---

Grant Ward laughed the day Coulson was stupid enough to transfer him again.  He escaped just as easily, even though the guards were doubled and the cuffs were tighter and holding his wrists to the arms of the chair he was forced into.

He didn’t know what Coulson was expected.

And now Grant Ward had to start the whole process all over again.  Go find more allies, establish himself.

(Maybe taking out Agent 33 hadn’t been a wise strategic move, but no matter, he was sure he could find other people who would find his skill set useful).

He began tracking strange earthquake movements, because of course he knew about Skye’s powers.  Cal had been right, she was special.  He knew he’d be able to find the team eventually, and this time he wouldn’t be so gentle with Skye.

But he knew he’d be able to get Skye to see reason, one day.  They were meant to be.  She had to see that.  Raina was right, they could be monsters together.

He didn’t plan on letting anyone or anything stopping him from getting the happy ending he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed. I enjoyed getting my thoughts out on this character.


End file.
